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Saturday, May 22, 2010

The new "Morse code"?

I get all sorts of interesting emails from the sons of Nigerian royalty (at least one a day), but this one really made me laugh:

The Desk Of,
Mr. Samuel Morse
Fund Manager,
Fidelity International, UK .
+44 7045703892

I feel quite safe dealing with you in this important business. Though,
this medium (Internet) has been greatly abused, I choose to reach you
through it because it still remains the fastest medium of communication.
Do accept my sincere apologies if my mail does not meet your personal
ethics. I knew that this mail will come to you as a surprise, but please do not
be discouraged with my proposal, it was due to how things are moving
with me, and then I decided to write to you when I saw your contact information in a
directory.
However, this correspondence is unofficial and private, and it should
be treated as such. At first I will like to assure you that this transaction is
100% risk and trouble free to both parties.
My name is Mr. Samuel Morse, a Fund Manager with Fidelity Investment,
UK. I handle all our Investors Capital Project Funds which enabled me to
divert 1.2% of Investors Excess Return Capital Funds to our Magellan Trust Funds
Account where anyone can be presented to claim the funds.
Total sum of Fifteen Million, Seven Hundred and Forty Five Thousand
British Pounds (15.745.000) GBP has been diverted, representing 1.2% of Excess
Return Capital Funds from the Investor Capital Project Funds for 2006/2007
fiscal year.

I need a reliable and trustworthy person with whom I can work this
deal out so that we can claim the funds as mentioned above.
There is no risk attached and the funds in question can never be
dictated or traced.

Sincerely,
Mr. Samuel Morse
I would've thought I'd have received it as follows:

- .... . / -.. . ... -.- / --- ..-. --..-- -- .-. .-.-.- / ... .- -- ..- . .-.. / -- --- .-. ... . ..-. ..- -. -.. / -- .- -. .- --. . .-. --..-- ..-. .. -.. . .-.. .. - -.-- / .. -. - . .-. -. .- - .. --- -. .- .-.. --..-- / ..- -.- / .-.-.- .-.-. ....- ....- / --... ----- ....- ..... --... ----- ...-- ---.. ----. ..--- .. / ..-. . . .-.. / --.- ..- .. - . / ... .- ..-. . / -.. . .- .-.. .. -. --. / .-- .. - .... / -.-- --- ..- / .. -. / - .... .. ... / .. -- .--. --- .-. - .- -. - / -... ..- ... .. -. . ... ... .-.-.- / - .... --- ..- --. .... --..-- / - .... .. ... / -- . -.. .. ..- -- / -.--. .. -. - . .-. -. . - -.--.- / .... .- ... / -... . . -. / --. .-. . .- - .-.. -.-- / .- -... ..- ... . -.. --..-- / .. / -.-. .... --- --- ... . / - --- / .-. . .- -.-. .... / -.-- --- ..- / - .... .-. --- ..- --. .... / .. - / -... . -.-. .- ..- ... . / .. - / ... - .. .-.. .-.. / .-. . -- .- .. -. ... / - .... . / ..-. .- ... - . ... - / -- . -.. .. ..- -- / --- ..-. / -.-. --- -- -- ..- -. .. -.-. .- - .. --- -. .-.-.- -.. --- / .- -.-. -.-. . .--. - / -- -.-- / ... .. -. -.-. . .-. . / .- .--. --- .-.. --- --. .. . ... / .. ..-. / -- -.-- / -- .- .. .-.. / -.. --- . ... / -. --- - / -- . . - / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .--. . .-. ... --- -. .- .-.. / . - .... .. -.-. ... .-.-.- / .. / -.- -. . .-- / - .... .- - / - .... .. ... / -- .- .. .-.. / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -.-. --- -- . / - --- / -.-- --- ..- / .- ... / .- / ... ..- .-. .--. .-. .. ... . --..-- / -... ..- - / .--. .-.. . .- ... . / -.. --- / -. --- - / -... . / -.. .. ... -.-. --- ..- .-. .- --. . -.. / .-- .. - .... / -- -.-- / .--. .-. --- .--. --- ... .- .-.. --..-- / .. - / .-- .- ... / -.. ..- . / - --- / .... --- .-- / - .... .. -. --. ... / .- .-. . / -- --- ...- .. -. --. / .-- .. - .... / -- . --..-- / .- -. -.. / - .... . -. / .. / -.. . -.-. .. -.. . -.. / - --- / .-- .-. .. - . / - --- / -.-- --- ..- / .-- .... . -. / .. / ... .- .-- / -.-- --- ..- .-. / -.-. --- -. - .- -.-. - / .. -. ..-. --- .-. -- .- - .. --- -. / .. -. / .- / -.. .. .-. . -.-. - --- .-. -.-- .-.-.- .... --- .-- . ...- . .-. --..-- / - .... .. ... / -.-. --- .-. .-. . ... .--. --- -. -.. . -. -.-. . / .. ... / ..- -. --- ..-. ..-. .. -.-. .. .- .-.. / .- -. -.. / .--. .-. .. ...- .- - . --..-- / .- -. -.. / .. - / ... .... --- ..- .-.. -.. / -... . / - .-. . .- - . -.. / .- ... / ... ..- -.-. .... .-.-.- / .- - / ..-. .. .-. ... - / .. / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / .-.. .. -.- . / - --- / .- ... ... ..- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / - .... .- - / - .... .. ... / - .-. .- -. ... .- -.-. - .. --- -. / .. ... / .---- ----- ----- .--. . .-. -.-. . -. -/ .-. .. ... -.- / .- -. -.. / - .-. --- ..- -... .-.. . / ..-. .-. . . / - --- / -... --- - .... / .--. .- .-. - .. . ... .-.-.- -- -.-- / -. .- -- . / .. ... / -- .-. .-.-.- / ... .- -- ..- . .-.. / -- --- .-. ... . --..-- / .- / ..-. ..- -. -.. / -- .- -. .- --. . .-. / .-- .. - .... / ..-. .. -.. . .-.. .. - -.-- / .. -. ...- . ... - -- . -. - --..-- / ..- -.- .-.-.- / .. / .... .- -. -.. .-.. . / .- .-.. .-.. / --- ..- .-. / .. -. ...- . ... - --- .-. ... / -.-. .- .--. .. - .- .-.. / .--. .-. --- .--- . -.-. - / ..-. ..- -. -.. ... / .-- .... .. -.-. .... / . -. .- -... .-.. . -.. / -- . / - --- / -.. .. ...- . .-. - / .---- .-.-.- ..--- .--. . .-. -.-. . -. - / --- ..-. / .. -. ...- . ... - --- .-. ... / . -..- -.-. . ... ... / .-. . - ..- .-. -. / -.-. .- .--. .. - .- .-.. / ..-. ..- -. -.. ... / - --- / --- ..- .-. / -- .- --. . .-.. .-.. .- -. / - .-. ..- ... - / ..-. ..- -. -.. ... / .- -.-. -.-. --- ..- -. - / .-- .... . .-. . / .- -. -.-- --- -. . / -.-. .- -. / -... . / .--. .-. . ... . -. - . -.. / - --- / -.-. .-.. .- .. -- / - .... . / ..-. ..- -. -.. ... .-.-.- - --- - .- .-.. / ... ..- -- / --- ..-. / ..-. .. ..-. - . . -. / -- .. .-.. .-.. .. --- -. --..-- / ... . ...- . -. / .... ..- -. -.. .-. . -.. / .- -. -.. / ..-. --- .-. - -.-- / ..-. .. ...- . / - .... --- ..- ... .- -. -.. / -... .-. .. - .. ... .... / .--. --- ..- -. -.. ... / -.--. .---- ..... .-.-.- --... ....- ..... .-.-.- ----- ----- ----- -.--.- / --. -... .--. / .... .- ... / -... . . -. / -.. .. ...- . .-. - . -.. --..-- / .-. . .--. .-. . ... . -. - .. -. --. / .---- .-.-.- ..--- .--. . .-. -.-. . -. - / --- ..-. / . -..- -.-. . ... ... / .-. . - ..- .-. -. / -.-. .- .--. .. - .- .-.. / ..-. ..- -. -.. ... / ..-. .-. --- -- / - .... . / .. -. ...- . ... - --- .-. / -.-. .- .--. .. - .- .-.. / .--. .-. --- .--- . -.-. - / ..-. ..- -. -.. ... / ..-. --- .-. / ..--- ----- ----- -.... -..-. ..--- ----- ----- --... / ..-. .. ... -.-. .- .-.. / -.-- . .- .-. .-.-.- .. / -. . . -.. / .- / .-. . .-.. .. .- -... .-.. . / .- -. -.. / - .-. ..- ... - .-- --- .-. - .... -.-- / .--. . .-. ... --- -. / .-- .. - .... / .-- .... --- -- / .. / -.-. .- -. / .-- --- .-. -.- / - .... .. ... / -.. . .- .-.. / --- ..- - / ... --- / - .... .- - / .-- . / -.-. .- -. / -.-. .-.. .- .. -- / - .... . / ..-. ..- -. -.. ... / .- ... / -- . -. - .. --- -. . -.. / .- -... --- ...- . .-.-.- - .... . .-. . / .. ... / -. --- / .-. .. ... -.- / .- - - .- -.-. .... . -.. / .- -. -.. / - .... . / ..-. ..- -. -.. ... / .. -. / --.- ..- . ... - .. --- -. / -.-. .- -. / -. . ...- . .-. / -... . / -.. .. -.-. - .- - . -.. / --- .-. / - .-. .- -.-. . -.. .-.-.- ... .. -. -.-. . .-. . .-.. -.-- --..-- -- .-. .-.-.- / ... .- -- ..- . .-.. / -- --- .-. ... .

Or:

Dah Di-di-di-dit Dit, Dah-di-dit Dit Di-di-dit Dah-di-dah, Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dah-dit Dah-dah-di-di-dah-dah Dah-dah Di-dah-dit Di-dah-di-dah-di-dah , Di-di-dit Di-dah Dah-dah Di-di-dah Dit Di-dah-di-dit, Dah-dah Dah-dah-dah Di-dah-dit Di-di-dit Dit Di-di-dah-dit Di-di-dah Dah-dit Dah-di-dit, Dah-dah Di-dah Dah-dit Di-dah Dah-dah-dit Dit Di-dah-dit Dah-dah-di-di-dah-dah Di-di-dah-dit Di-dit Dah-di-dit Dit Di-dah-di-dit Di-dit Dah Dah-di-dah-dah, Di-dit Dah-dit Dah Dit Di-dah-dit Dah-dit Di-dah Dah Di-dit Dah-dah-dah Dah-dit Di-dah Di-dah-di-dit Dah-dah-di-di-dah-dah, Di-di-dah Dah-di-dah, Di-dah-di-dah-di-dah Di-dah-di-dah-dit Di-di-di-di-dah Di-di-di-di-dah, Dah-dah-di-di-dit Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah Di-di-di-di-dah Di-di-di-di-dit Dah-dah-di-di-dit Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah Di-di-di-dah-dah Dah-dah-dah-di-dit Dah-dah-dah-dah-dit Di-di-dah-dah-dah Di-dit, Di-di-dah-dit Dit Dit Di-dah-di-dit, Dah-dah-di-dah Di-di-dah Di-dit Dah Dit, Di-di-dit Di-dah Di-di-dah-dit Dit, Dah-di-dit Dit Di-dah Di-dah-di-dit Di-dit Dah-dit Dah-dah-dit, Di-dah-dah Di-dit Dah Di-di-di-dit, Dah-di-dah-dah Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dah, Di-dit Dah-dit, Dah Di-di-di-dit Di-dit Di-di-dit, Di-dit Dah-dah Di-dah-dah-dit Dah-dah-dah Di-dah-dit Dah Di-dah Dah-dit Dah, Dah-di-di-dit Di-di-dah Di-di-dit Di-dit Dah-dit Dit Di-di-dit Di-di-dit Di-dah-di-dah-di-dah , Dah Di-di-di-dit Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dah Dah-dah-dit Di-di-di-dit Dah-dah-di-di-dah-dah, Dah Di-di-di-dit Di-dit Di-di-dit, Dah-dah Dit Dah-di-dit Di-dit Di-di-dah Dah-dah, Dah-di-dah-dah-dit Di-dit Dah-dit Dah Dit Di-dah-dit Dah-dit Dit Dah Dah-di-dah-dah-di-dah, Di-di-di-dit Di-dah Di-di-dit, Dah-di-di-dit Dit Dit Dah-dit, Dah-dah-dit Di-dah-dit Dit Di-dah Dah Di-dah-di-dit Dah-di-dah-dah, Di-dah Dah-di-di-dit Di-di-dah Di-di-dit Dit Dah-di-dit Dah-dah-di-di-dah-dah, Di-dit, Dah-di-dah-dit Di-di-di-dit Dah-dah-dah Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dit Dit, Dah Dah-dah-dah, Di-dah-dit Dit Di-dah Dah-di-dah-dit Di-di-di-dit, Dah-di-dah-dah Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dah, Dah Di-di-di-dit Di-dah-dit Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dah Dah-dah-dit Di-di-di-dit, Di-dit Dah, Dah-di-di-dit Dit Dah-di-dah-dit Di-dah Di-di-dah Di-di-dit Dit, Di-dit Dah, Di-di-dit Dah Di-dit Di-dah-di-dit Di-dah-di-dit, Di-dah-dit Dit Dah-dah Di-dah Di-dit Dah-dit Di-di-dit, Dah Di-di-di-dit Dit, Di-di-dah-dit Di-dah Di-di-dit Dah Dit Di-di-dit Dah, Dah-dah Dit Dah-di-dit Di-dit Di-di-dah Dah-dah, Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dah-dit, Dah-di-dah-dit Dah-dah-dah Dah-dah Dah-dah Di-di-dah Dah-dit Di-dit Dah-di-dah-dit Di-dah Dah Di-dit Dah-dah-dah Dah-dit Di-dah-di-dah-di-dah Dah-di-dit Dah-dah-dah, Di-dah Dah-di-dah-dit Dah-di-dah-dit Dit Di-dah-dah-dit Dah, Dah-dah Dah-di-dah-dah, Di-di-dit Di-dit Dah-dit Dah-di-dah-dit Dit Di-dah-dit Dit, Di-dah Di-dah-dah-dit Dah-dah-dah Di-dah-di-dit Dah-dah-dah Dah-dah-dit Di-dit Dit Di-di-dit, Di-dit Di-di-dah-dit, Dah-dah Dah-di-dah-dah, Dah-dah Di-dah Di-dit Di-dah-di-dit, Dah-di-dit Dah-dah-dah Dit Di-di-dit, Dah-dit Dah-dah-dah Dah, Dah-dah Dit Dit Dah, Dah-di-dah-dah Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dah Di-dah-dit, Di-dah-dah-dit Dit Di-dah-dit Di-di-dit Dah-dah-dah Dah-dit Di-dah Di-dah-di-dit, Dit Dah Di-di-di-dit Di-dit Dah-di-dah-dit Di-di-dit Di-dah-di-dah-di-dah , Di-dit, Dah-di-dah Dah-dit Dit Di-dah-dah, Dah Di-di-di-dit Di-dah Dah, Dah Di-di-di-dit Di-dit Di-di-dit, Dah-dah Di-dah Di-dit Di-dah-di-dit, Di-dah-dah Di-dit Di-dah-di-dit Di-dah-di-dit, Dah-di-dah-dit Dah-dah-dah Dah-dah Dit, Dah Dah-dah-dah, Dah-di-dah-dah Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dah, Di-dah Di-di-dit, Di-dah, Di-di-dit Di-di-dah Di-dah-dit Di-dah-dah-dit Di-dah-dit Di-dit Di-di-dit Dit Dah-dah-di-di-dah-dah, Dah-di-di-dit Di-di-dah Dah, Di-dah-dah-dit Di-dah-di-dit Dit Di-dah Di-di-dit Dit, Dah-di-dit Dah-dah-dah, Dah-dit Dah-dah-dah Dah, Dah-di-di-dit Dit, Dah-di-dit Di-dit Di-di-dit Dah-di-dah-dit Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dah Di-dah-dit Di-dah Dah-dah-dit Dit Dah-di-dit, Di-dah-dah Di-dit Dah Di-di-di-dit, Dah-dah Dah-di-dah-dah, Di-dah-dah-dit Di-dah-dit Dah-dah-dah Di-dah-dah-dit Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dit Di-dah Di-dah-di-dit Dah-dah-di-di-dah-dah, Di-dit Dah, Di-dah-dah Di-dah Di-di-dit, Dah-di-dit Di-di-dah Dit, Dah Dah-dah-dah, Di-di-di-dit Dah-dah-dah Di-dah-dah, Dah Di-di-di-dit Di-dit Dah-dit Dah-dah-dit Di-di-dit, Di-dah Di-dah-dit Dit, Dah-dah Dah-dah-dah Di-di-di-dah Di-dit Dah-dit Dah-dah-dit, Di-dah-dah Di-dit Dah Di-di-di-dit, Dah-dah Dit Dah-dah-di-di-dah-dah, Di-dah Dah-dit Dah-di-dit, Dah Di-di-di-dit Dit Dah-dit, Di-dit, Dah-di-dit Dit Dah-di-dah-dit Di-dit Dah-di-dit Dit Dah-di-dit, Dah Dah-dah-dah, Di-dah-dah Di-dah-dit Di-dit Dah Dit, Dah Dah-dah-dah, Dah-di-dah-dah Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dah, Di-dah-dah Di-di-di-dit Dit Dah-dit, Di-dit, Di-di-dit Di-dah Di-dah-dah, Dah-di-dah-dah Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dah Di-dah-dit, Dah-di-dah-dit Dah-dah-dah Dah-dit Dah Di-dah Dah-di-dah-dit Dah, Di-dit Dah-dit Di-di-dah-dit Dah-dah-dah Di-dah-dit Dah-dah Di-dah Dah Di-dit Dah-dah-dah Dah-dit, Di-dit Dah-dit, Di-dah, Dah-di-dit Di-dit Di-dah-dit Dit Dah-di-dah-dit Dah Dah-dah-dah Di-dah-dit Dah-di-dah-dah Di-dah-di-dah-di-dah Di-di-di-dit Dah-dah-dah Di-dah-dah Dit Di-di-di-dah Dit Di-dah-dit Dah-dah-di-di-dah-dah, Dah Di-di-di-dit Di-dit Di-di-dit, Dah-di-dah-dit Dah-dah-dah Di-dah-dit Di-dah-dit Dit Di-di-dit Di-dah-dah-dit Dah-dah-dah Dah-dit Dah-di-dit Dit Dah-dit Dah-di-dah-dit Dit, Di-dit Di-di-dit, Di-di-dah Dah-dit Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dah-dit Di-di-dah-dit Di-dit Dah-di-dah-dit Di-dit Di-dah Di-dah-di-dit, Di-dah Dah-dit Dah-di-dit, Di-dah-dah-dit Di-dah-dit Di-dit Di-di-di-dah Di-dah Dah Dit Dah-dah-di-di-dah-dah, Di-dah Dah-dit Dah-di-dit, Di-dit Dah, Di-di-dit Di-di-di-dit Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dah Di-dah-di-dit Dah-di-dit, Dah-di-di-dit Dit, Dah Di-dah-dit Dit Di-dah Dah Dit Dah-di-dit, Di-dah Di-di-dit, Di-di-dit Di-di-dah Dah-di-dah-dit Di-di-di-dit Di-dah-di-dah-di-dah , Di-dah Dah, Di-di-dah-dit Di-dit Di-dah-dit Di-di-dit Dah, Di-dit, Di-dah-dah Di-dit Di-dah-di-dit Di-dah-di-dit, Di-dah-di-dit Di-dit Dah-di-dah Dit, Dah Dah-dah-dah, Di-dah Di-di-dit Di-di-dit Di-di-dah Di-dah-dit Dit, Dah-di-dah-dah Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dah, Dah Di-di-di-dit Di-dah Dah, Dah Di-di-di-dit Di-dit Di-di-dit, Dah Di-dah-dit Di-dah Dah-dit Di-di-dit Di-dah Dah-di-dah-dit Dah Di-dit Dah-dah-dah Dah-dit, Di-dit Di-di-dit, Di-dah-dah-dah-dah Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah Di-dah-dah-dit Dit Di-dah-dit Dah-di-dah-dit Dit Dah-dit Dah, Di-dah-dit Di-dit Di-di-dit Dah-di-dah, Di-dah Dah-dit Dah-di-dit, Dah Di-dah-dit Dah-dah-dah Di-di-dah Dah-di-di-dit Di-dah-di-dit Dit, Di-di-dah-dit Di-dah-dit Dit Dit, Dah Dah-dah-dah, Dah-di-di-dit Dah-dah-dah Dah Di-di-di-dit, Di-dah-dah-dit Di-dah Di-dah-dit Dah Di-dit Dit Di-di-dit Di-dah-di-dah-di-dah Dah-dah Dah-di-dah-dah, Dah-dit Di-dah Dah-dah Dit, Di-dit Di-di-dit, Dah-dah Di-dah-dit Di-dah-di-dah-di-dah , Di-di-dit Di-dah Dah-dah Di-di-dah Dit Di-dah-di-dit, Dah-dah Dah-dah-dah Di-dah-dit Di-di-dit Dit Dah-dah-di-di-dah-dah, Di-dah, Di-di-dah-dit Di-di-dah Dah-dit Dah-di-dit, Dah-dah Di-dah 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*
whew*

Up until now I thought the funniest one was of the Nigerian astronaut stuck up in space for 14 years (who knew?) but this ranks a close 2nd.

And to think, all this time I thought Morse was a painter and an inventor, not an accountant...I even thought he was dead, but I see it's on the internet so it must be true...

And just to be sure, the letter I received is often referred to as a "419 scam", named because of the Nigerian penal code dealing with such fraud.

Unfortunately the Nigerian government doesn't look at these types of issues with utmost priority, and Nigeria's reputation as a corrupt country is only exacerbated by these rampant emails by organized crime bosses or even corrupt politicians.

What's even more ridiculous is that there are people who actually buy into these scams, thinking they've been chosen by fate out of millions of others out there to help facilitate the laundering of money in exchange for a fee.

There's some who get conned into thinking they've won the Canadian lottery and can get their winnings expedited through customs for "modest fees" of thousands of dollars. How could you have won when you didn't even enter?

It just goes to show that if it's too good to be true...

1 comment:

  1. We have suffered similar schemes over here in VK as well. My reply to one, was, send me a bank cheque, and we'll discuss commission at a later date. Funny how I never have received another email request since, and that was over five years ago ?

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